Free Tool
B2B Crap Detector
Paste any piece of B2B copy. The detector scans it against the five patterns that make buyers roll their eyes — and tells you exactly what to fix.
5 crap buckets
4 verticals
100% browser-based
No login required
What you get
- →Which of the five crap buckets your copy falls into
- →A one-sentence diagnosis of why a sceptical buyer would ignore it
- →A rewrite direction for each detected pattern
- →Sector-specific patterns for SaaS, IT Services, BPO, and Manufacturing
Run the detector
Works on headlines, value props, hero statements, email openers, and LinkedIn posts.
Cleaner version
How it works
1Pick your vertical — the detector adds sector-specific patterns on top of the universal ones.
2Paste any piece of copy — a headline, value prop, hero statement, or email opener.
3The engine scans for the five B2B crap patterns and flags which ones fired.
4You get a diagnosis and a rewrite direction for each detected pattern.
The five buckets
OverclaimSuperlatives with no proof
MissionaryMission theatre instead of product reality
InfallibilityNo trade-offs, no honest limits
BandwagonBuzzwords in place of mechanism
Customer-obsessionAssertion instead of evidence
Is your marketing full of crap?
I work with B2B teams to strip the Kool-Aid out of their messaging and replace it with copy that sceptical buyers actually believe.
Work with me